The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Bryce and I have spent the majority of this week hunting down an alternative caregiver. We have checked out four different options and I have probably experienced every range of emotion this week. I'll try to keep some names anonymous since I know jobs and lives are at stake here.

I visited alternate number one on Wednesday on my way home from school, and man I could not leave that place fast enough. When I walked up to the entrance there was a nice big sign on the door saying that the door needed to be locked at all times, and that you had to be buzzed in to enter-a wonderful security feature! Except that the door was propped open, and there wasn't even a person in sight when I walked into the building. After waiting in the lobby and listening to two parents discuss how sick their children have been this winter, and how they can't seem to get over their colds, I was escorted into the infant room. The ratio in the infant room was 4:1, however one of the "teachers" barely looked old enough to have graduated high school and both of the adults in the room didn't pay any attention to the kids while they were talking to me. I know they were trying to tell me what they thought I wanted to hear, but it really backfired. All I could think was "If you are making these concessions for me, who else are you bending the rules for?!". The straw that broke the camels back was the sad little baby who sat in her crib pounding on the Plexiglas to be let out. Visions of Charlotte sitting in that same spot had me running for the door!

Alternate number two was a lady who has done in-home daycare for almost 30 years. She has definitely "been there, done that" and practically answered all of our questions before we even asked them. She has a spot for us on Fridays, but can't guarantee us anything for the fall. State law says that in-home daycare providers can only have six kids, and she isn't sure if she will have an opening or not. Bryce and I left her home feeling a bit more relaxed and confidant that Charlotte would spend the day being nurtured if we brought her there.

Alternate number three was a private daycare/school in our area. Bryce and I were extremely impressed with the cleanliness of the facility and the security protocol they have in place. Forget being buzzed in from a locked door, this place had security cameras and a pin code that had to be entered. This option is definitely more focused on "curriculum" and "quality assurance", something I really have to search my heart about. Yes, I believe that Charlotte is a very smart little girl and should be given every opportunity to grow and learn-but do I also believe that my four month old needs a lesson plan and a quarterly performance assessment? I'm not so sure. Obviously as an educator I know how important it is to establish good habits and skills, but at what point are you pushing too early? Not to mention that tuition for this center is more than our mortgage!! I think a place like this will definitely be in our plans when Charlotte gets older.

Alternate number four was an interview we had tonight, another in-home lady who has devoted herself to the wee little ones. We actually met her at Wal-mart when I was pregnant and she told me then that she kept kids for a living. Somehow I got her number again through the state website, and I can't shake the feeling that fate made our paths cross then and now. Her whole basement is set up as a play/learning area, and she seems to have a great balance between play time and structured activity time. She is a very strong Christian, and expressed to Bryce and I
many times that she believes that God brings people to her that need a loving home away from home for their children. She could not have been more right! I have prayed so hard for God to take away my anxiety about finding a suitable substitute for Charlotte, knowing that if I can just put all my trust in him that the right person would come along. She only has enough room to take us as a drop in for right now, but I know we will be provided for and the right situation will work itself out.

I knew it would be hard to leave Charlotte when I went back to work, but I had no idea the stress and anxiety that would come with ensuring that she is cared for in my absence. She is such a happy, lovable, loving baby and I don't want anything to happen that would change that!