PSA: how to talk to a pregnant woman

Since I am spending my last days as a pregnant woman, I decided it was time for a public service announcement. Here is a list of questions we answer ALL day EVERY day throughout the pregnancy. So, if you like to be the creative type you should find some variation other than the list below. These questions are ok to ask, just keep it down to a minimum and don't expect a fully enthusiastic answer every time!

1. When are you due?
2. Is it a boy or a girl?
3. Is this your first?
4. How do you feel?
5. Have you been really sick?
6. How much longer do you have? (Or how far along are you?)
7. Have you picked out a name?
8. What cravings have you had?
9. Can I touch your belly?
10. Are you going to nurse?
11. Are you excited?
12. Where did you register?
13. How long are you taking off work?

I would also like to point out that there are several questions you should NOT ask a pregnant woman (no matter how close of a friend you think she is). Either it is none of your business or it is inappropriate to ask. A good rule of thumb: if you wouldn't say it to a woman if she wasn't pregnant, DON'T SAY IT TO HER NOW EITHER! All she will do is rant and rave to everyone about the jerk who asked her these:

1. So, were you trying to get pregnant?
2. How long were you trying?
3. How much weight have you gained?
4. Are you sure you're ready for this?
5. Are you having twins? (or any variation of multiples)
6. Haven't you had that baby yet?
7. Must be getting close, huh? (unless you know her due date is within one month, this is offensive!)
8. Was your husband excited?
9. So, when will you have another one?
10. You're eating that?! (or, are you allowed to eat that?)
11. Whoa, getting out there aren't you?
12. Do you feel ok today? You don't look so good....
13. You are exercising right? You know you want to watch your weight....
14. Have you started to dilate?

Other words you should clear from your vocabulary when in a conversation with a pregnant woman: pudgy, plump, pop (as in you're about to pop-I HATE that one!), round, BIG, large, swollen, chubby, load (as in drop that load-I HATE HATE HATE that one!), watermelon, and basketball....these are all variations of fat. No matter how cute you try to make it sound, no woman wants to be told how "BIG" she is!

I have actually been fortunate in the treatment I have received over the last nine months, there have been very few instances of someone being outright rude. Most of these came from conversations with friends who had to deal with these questions so I wanted to spread the word while I am still a part of the "pregnant woman club". Truthfully, one of the things I will miss the most about being pregnant is how NICE everyone has been to me!