Big girl school

Big girl school has not gone as well as I anticipated. At the beginning of July we started driving by the building and pointing to it "Look, there's your new school". Then we started pulling into the parking lot, "Look, there's a playground at your school. You'll get to play there every day!". Next, we actually went in and met her teacher. We started talking about Ms. J for about a week before pre-planning started and Charlotte was really excited to be a big girl at a "real school". As much as we adore Mrs. D, I knew Charlotte was ready to move on and was so happy to see her excited about going to a school.

I had to accept that Charlotte will be one of the oldest kids in her class. She is not starting pre-k this year because of her birthday. You have to be four BEFORE September 1st in Georgia to enroll in pre-k, even in the private pre-k sectors (because you also have to be 5 before September 1st to enroll in kindergarten, 6 in first grade, etc.). So after much searching for theright place we finally settled on a place that is close to home, felt very clean and friendly, and has a class for four year olds who are also in Charlotte's situation. All the kids in her class have birthdays from September to December, and they treat it like a "pre" pre-k. I should have written a blog about my search for the right school, that is a whole post in and of itself!

So, day one comes around. At the very last minute, I ended up being the drop off person. Once Bryce realized how early he was going to have to be at school the first day of pre-planning, we decided it just wasn't fair to the girls to have them out the door that early. I should have been more mentally prepared, but I wasn't. I went to Charlotte's school for drop off first since it is the closest to our house, and from the minute we got out of the car Charlotte was attached to my hip. We went to sign in and walk back to her classroom and I was basically dragging her along with me. When it was time to say good-bye she hugged my neck so hard. I could feel her little heart beating hard and she was taking big deep breaths. The look on her face was fear but she was trying SO hard to be a big girl about it. I got out of there as fast as I could so she wouldn't see me cry. As soon as the door closed behind me it was a flood of tears down my face. I walked out of there with my head screaming "I just left my precious child with people I don't know!". I had to keep telling myself over and over again that this was the best place for her. I cried the whole way to Mrs. D's house to drop off Emily, and all the way to work. With Emily, my sadness came from knowing that I will be at work for the rest of her baby days. I will be at working while she is learning to crawl, talk, walk.....I'll have a little mini toddler by next summer. You realize how fast it all goes the second time around.

Even one week later, Charlotte is still not loving her day at big girl school. She is so verbal that it hurts my heart to hear her say she is scared, or sad, or lonely while she's at school. She's been having nightmares at night too. I know it just takes some getting used to, but man it's hard!